"Have you ever felt like you wanted to say so much to one person? Can you empathize with me? Do you understand?” I expressed while gesturing with my hands.
"Why? Do u have something to say to me? Then you should say it,” said Mr. Vegas while stuffing his face with eggs benedict.
"Nope, you’ll never know. I feel like when I want to express myself, you think that I am being 'emotional' when that's not the case."
Mr. Vegas proceeded after taking another bite from his early morning breakfast, "Well, it's all about timing and delivery."
I pondered for a second and then stated my case.
"Hmmmmm, you're right. I agree with you. It's all in the approach. But you know what? My timing and delivery is always off with men."
We continued to exchange words and frankly I began to zone out. Our conversation had evolved into awkward silence, long gazes, and perplexed expressions of “I wonder what he/she is thinking” at this moment. Well, I desperately wondered what he was thinking and what he was cooking up in his brain to spit out to me next. Besides, I was engulfed in my loaded three-egg omelet, potatoes, wheat toast and fruit. Hey, I needed a full stomach in order to digest what this man had in store for me during our discussion. I was being served a handful counting my elaborate meal and his cold responses that were just as difficult to swallow as the salty potatoes.
His "timing and delivery" song and dance stuck with me for the entire ride home (and I was still inquisitive about why he was in such deep, deep thought). I wanted to scream to the top of my lungs for all of NYC and he to hear, "What in the hell are you thinking about? Is it that serious? If your thoughts concern me, why are you so hesitant to tell me? I am sitting here next to you. Tell me."
I’d told him earlier that evening that he thinks too much and he's going to think himself into the ground (or into emotional/mental illness) one day. Depending on which one took over first. I replayed the “timing and delivery” comment in my head continuously with my eyes closed and hand on his thigh. If my "timing and delivery" is so out of whack with him and every other man in the universe, then what will become of me as an entrepreneur, a writer, and a publicist?
Playing these three roles, your "timing and delivery" should be on point at least 98.9% of the year. No one is perfect, but no one will tolerate an tectless entrepreneur, writer and/or publicist.
Nonetheless, I am confident that there is hope for me. These skills are learned and can be acquired with guidance, experience, trial, and error.
However, the real question is can my friendship with Mr. Vegas be rejuvenated into something more mature, more adult, and more straightforward??? Well, he's an Aquarius and they are often aloof, distant, and totally unemotional. They expect a great deal from the other party, which includes reading their inner thoughts and disappointments. They're very special, private creatures and I appreciate them for being so damn honest and against the norm. They stay true to themselves (and I admire that).
Unfortunately, I am not Miss Cleo. Therefore, I can not read into anyone's soul and/or inner being. That certainly includes men, friends, employees, clients, etc. I’ve realized that we all may assume that the person who hurt us knows exactly how, why, where and when they committed the act. I’m a witness/victim to the assumption game. But that game gets old quickly. In the past and the present, I’ve stopped, relaxed, released and thought to myself, “maybe I should address ‘what’ they did to me, so that it will not happen again.” You should not fault someone for what they don’t know and that’s when “timing and delivery” is most important. Don’t you agree?