Saturday, August 09, 2008

What Women Want (Better yet, what do men want?)

(When I asked a friend of a friend what did he want from a woman, he told me that he wanted a person who could accept that he was a sports fanatic. I thought he was extreme but he was honest. Later on, I inquired if he’d seen that movie starring Drew Barrymore that had the same type of plot.)

“Joi, do you want a man that holds your hand or a man that pulls your hair? I mean (pause), just let me know”

I raised my right eyebrow feeling perplexed, uneasy, “Hmmm, well, I want both. There’s a time for both.”

Happy with my response I proceeded to do my closing waitress duties; counting money and paperwork. However, after Wesley asked me that question, I could not get the idea out of my head. It bothered me for weeks and weeks.

Several months later…

I was on the phone with a close friend. Many people say that we are twins, except she has more tits and ass, so she’s more like a sister, aesthetically anyway. During our girl talk, I say, “Where are all the fine (meaning attractive), successful, faithful, black men? Do they exist?”

While the question rolled smoothly from my tongue, I figured that you can take race out of the equation and the same question is still relevant, which is “where are they?”)

“Yeah, they do exist but they’re all whores,” She rebuttals with a laugh.

“That can’t be true,” I respond.

A light bulb went off in my brain as I woke up the next day. I quickly grabbed my cell and began texting my twin. I desperately wanted to show her that she was incorrect and being pessimistic.

I type, “I could not sleep last night about what you said. Fine, successful black men do exist and I can name two of them. #1 was cute, successful, 40, divorced. We went out a couple of times but he said that he did not want to ruin me.”

She types back, “Ok, so he’s probably a whore.”

“#2, was the same, younger but he was the one that I told you about that saw me leave the party with the bartender and assumed the worst.”

She responds via text, “He’s an idiot.”

I chuckled to myself as I read my twin’s reply and part of me wanted to agree with her. But I did prove that these men do exist even if they came equipped with flaws. But both, Bachelor #1 (AKA Mr. CB, see post “The Unattainable” for more info on him) and Bachelor #2 were certainly the type of men who could pull my hair behind closed doors (if I wanted) and hold my hand in public, reassuring me that we were a “sure thing” for the time that I was out with them. As my feelings floated back to the past, both of them did enjoy PDA (Public Display of Affection) more than I did.

There’s no real solution to what women want. We all want very different things. When we are single it may seem that we’ll never find what we want or what we think we want or what other’s want for us as far as the opposite sex. Sometimes, we’re picky, never satisfied, and feel that the next best thing is just around the corner (so we leave our options open).

Oh! Wait. Was that description a more suitable definition of single men?

No matter the gender, what we don’t realize is that that “best thing” may be starring us right in the face. But we overlook it.

Maybe, the hunt for true love should take on the same methods as applying for a job, freelance gig or even finding the perfect shoes.

-Look at the criteria/guidelines
-Highlight all talents and previous experience (which includes being candid)
-Just roll the dice and take a chance

I know that we all (men and women) want someone that we can get along with. That’s just half the battle.

Really, what do you want? Can you find everything that you want in one person?

1 comment:

  1. What do I want? The problem is I, like a lot of folks, don't even know. Because what we WANT and what we NEED are not always the same thing. So the question really should be what/who do we need?